Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Ed

Five years ago, my dear friend Ed Leonard was found dead of a heart attack after walking and shoveling in a blizzard. He'd had some other health problems I won't go into here.

There weren't many like Ed. He was a fellow member of the Lamb of God Community, and at our "Community Gatherings," he played drums. Or, more accurately, he attacked the drums. He threw everything he had into playing them. He needed to wipe himself off between songs because of the sweat pouring off him. During one Gathering, the sound to the rest of the worship band cut out, so all anyone heard was him and pianist Jo Ellen. We decided Ed needed to cut an album titled, "Ed Leonard's Percussion Praise."

Ed had five other guys living with him in his house. If you went into his kitchen pantry, you would see stacks of foodstuffs, such as 48 boxes of Corn Flakes. Well, if he saw a coupon deal worth snagging, and there was a limit per person, he'd grab the other five guys and have each of them get their limit of boxes. With the Corn Flakes, they were eight to a customer, hence 48 boxes.

Here was Ed's food shopping hierarchy, as denoted by cable channels (which he didn't have):

  • HBO - Household Buying Obligation (Milk, bread, butter, the things you can't be without).
  • CINEMAX - Clear Incentive: Necessary Elements and More Are eXtracted (such as the a/m Corn Flakes). He also wanted to call this FANFARE (Free And Nearly Free: All Remaining Extracted), but it didn't fit the motif.
  • ESPN - Empty the Shelf Price Now! He had no qualms about emptying the shelf where applicable.
Most of his wardrobe came from thrift and second-hand stores. He had a closet full of short-sleeve Oxford shirts obtained that way, and he kept them hung according to color. I think he had about 10 blue Oxfords!

In the words of the (ironically enough) Swirling Eddies:
If you think of Ed today
You better keep him in your prayers
'Cause the Eds of this world
They are something rare!
And so I will:

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen.

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