Friday, December 12, 2008

Merry Something-Or-Other

If I wanted to, I could raise a ruckus about the annual "war on Christmas" in the secular world, and there are plenty of people commenting about that.

But what happens when such a war extends to . . . the Christian churches? Read it and weep:

Politically correct Christmas carols censor 'king', 'son' and 'virgin'

I didn't excerpt anything because I'd probably have to just reproduce the whole article. (HT: Fr. Z.)

Although the following isn't a carol usually sung in churches, this appears to be the direction in which this political correctness is headed (authorship lost to the Internet):

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,

(NOTE after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poets

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses

AND a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
As Glenn Beck puts it, have a RamaHanuKwanzMas.


Dymphna (4HisChurch) said...

I hate politically correct lyrics to hymns, but I especially hate it when done to CHRISTMAS hymns! Grrrrr! Great parody!