Sunday, October 07, 2007

Lust

I want to thank Ignorant Redneck for his honesty in disclosing the struggles he has with pornography. I've had my share as well, although what I choose to watch technically isn't pornography (there's usually no nudity involved). But it's definitely lustful.

What it consists of doesn't really matter; what matters is how I use it. And when I get started gorging myself on certain images of women, I can't stop lusting after them; I can sit and stare for hours. Porn is what I make it. When I use these images, I'm expecting them to take me away from myself, relieve me of my stress, and make me whole. One small problem; they never do, even though I keep expecting them to. When I'm done, I still have the same things to face that I did before.

I think it's demeaning to the women involved, whether they're "asking" to be ogled or not. They aren't the problem; I'm the problem. I render them as objects for my enjoyment and completely remove any concept of personhood or creation in God's image. It goes against everything I believe as a Catholic, a Christian, and a moral man. And it certainly doesn't reflect my love for LC very much.

I go to a 12-step group to help deal with this, and I believe that recent problems I've had in this regard stem from my reluctance to get gut-level honest about where I am with my lust. I post this in the hope that it may help someone else who reads it. I don't want to be a slave to my lust anymore, but I need God's help to accomplish this a day at a time. I will be accountable to others in recovery, I will continue to pray, and I will look to help others who have this problem.

Mary, Mother of God, pray for us.
St. Augustine, pray for us.

2 comments:

Dymphna (4HisChurch) said...

Thank you for that bravery. Lust is a problem because of our fallen nature, but also because of the acceptance it has in modern society. Not only are visual images prolific, but television shows are replete with references to various solitary sexual practices like they are not only "normal" but beneficial. Don't give up and keep the faith.

ignorant redneck said...

Cygnus--

We've been praying for you, and I know you've been praying for me.

I'm not a fan of 12 step programs, but if it works go for it!

What helps the most for me is a strange little regimine (sp?). The Liturgy of Hours, the rosary and the chaplet of divine mercy, coupled with the sacraments, especially the Eucharist and Confession. The Annointing of the sick helps also.

Anything that you view or read that turns you on can be porn. It's pretty easy to avoid the graphic stuff--really, it's easy to find, but you don't have it in your face if you don't look. But a lot of marketing is softcore porn. Like when I turn on my computer and my provider has an add for Victorias Secret, or advertising on TV, or even risque programming that may well be entertaining, but you end up ogling the actress' legs or other parts.

Hang in there buddy--he who dies with the least sins wins!! ;P

Remember--it's an addiction, and like any addiction it substitutes for what we really need. We can do it.

St. Margaret of Corrona, OPN!