Saturday, March 03, 2007

What am I afraid of?

I ask this regarding my spiritual life.

I go to Mass regularly, including often during the week, but I don't pray regularly or read the Bible or devotional materials.

So far I haven't made Lent make that much of a difference to me.

I wonder again whether, if accused of being a practicing Catholic, there would be evidence to convict me.

Why am I afraid of God and His love? I know I still have scars from my days as a member of the Lamb of God covenant community, but I cannot use that excuse for the rest of my life.

Am I just a political/cultural Catholic?

Why do I hate being quiet, "bored," still?

Why don't I want to pray, beyond seeing it as a duty, a must?

God, help me.