Saturday, February 17, 2007

Potty Emergency

It was three years ago this weekend that the following story happened.

On my blog you see a link about volksmarching; it goes to the site of the American Volkssporting Association. Volksmarching is a hobby I hope to return to when both my physical and fiscal states improve.

On a Saturday afternoon, I decided to make the best of the mid-February doldrums and do a year-round (can do anytime the start point is open during daylight) 10K (6.2 mile) volksmarch in Montgomery Village to the south. I started at the Upper County YMCA.

The route wound through neighborhoods until it reached Lakeforest Mall. It was about 1:30 in the afternoon, so I decided to get a hamburger for lunch at Red Robin inside.

After lunch, I set back on my way. I passed a lake that was still partly frozen. One of Montgomery County's finest asked me if I'd seen kids playing on the ice because she had gotten a complaint from a citizen hearing kids on the ice. There were plenty of geese; I think that's what the citizen heard.

After I left the officer, I discovered I had to go to the bathroom. This lake had no restrooms, so I decided to keep going, certain I would find someplace to relieve myself. And no, it wasn't #1.

To my chagrin, the route took me up into a well-to-do neighborhood. I was getting desperate. I started thinking of how I could politely ask someone whether I could use their house's facilities, as if I'd ever want some stranger mucking up my salle de bain!

I staggered uphill toward a community center. Closed.

I was starting to lose the battle. At least a mile had gone by, and the route entered another park. No bathrooms there. My eyes were popping out, and my stride had become a combination of desperate lunging and some weird form of Pilates! And things were starting to chafe.

Then as I rounded a baseball field, I saw it. About a quarter mile away. Near where a road was being widened.

A porta-potty! First (and likely last) time I've ever been grateful to find one of those.

I raced through a muddy field, scrambled up snow and rocks, and entered. TP? Check. Cleanliness? It'll have to do.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Sort of.

I finished the walk, still chafing. Ow. Then I washed my hands, went home and took a nice long soaking bath.

Now here's the funny part.

When I was passing that lake, the path went beside but below the main road so that I couldn't see what was across it. It would have been off the trail, but there was a county visitor center and a shopping center as well across the road.

Nowadays, I wait until after my walks to eat.


Rae said...

Boy that brings up an unpleasant memory I had completely put out of my mind. Visiting friends in NJ. Went out to lunch with four others. Restaurant was two miles from my friends' house. Two of us decided to walk back instead of ride. Same situation, same desperation. We wound up banging on the door at a body shop that was closed but had a car in the driveway. Guy was understandably taken aback, but let us in. Ahhh.

Not an experience I ever want to repeat.

Rae -- one good blog visit deserves another. Thanks for stopping by mine. Nice to know there's a Marylander out there like me.

Debcapsfan said...

Funny story, made funnier because I knew where you were. We were at the game on Saturday, I did call but I didn't reach you. We'll try again for next time.

Guy said...

I always love a good poop story!