Sunday, July 23, 2006

One Thing Leads To Another

(no, this has nothing to do with The Fixx!)

(Cue 50s-type filmstrip background music)

This is Cygnus.

This is Cygnus waking up at 4 AM to go to work 45 miles away.

This is Cygnus driving onto I-270 southbound in his Cygmobile, a Ford Focus babe magnet wagon, at 5 AM.

This is Cygnus getting caught in a backup because of a nasty accident ahead. 270 is closed in both directions.

This is Cygnus calling work, saying he'll be late because of said accident.

This is Cygnus turning off his engine while waiting for the accident to clear.

This is Cygnus 20 minutes later as the road reopens, turning his ignition. Nothing happens except the dials clicking back and forth.

This is Cygnus trying the ignition again. Clicking again.

This is Cygnus being honked at by people behind him in the fast lane.

This is Cygnus shifting into neutral and drifting downhill, looking for a chance to pull off to the right. But the traffic is moving way too fast in the right lane.

This is Cygnus settling for the left shoulder and the median, once he's past the guardrail.

This is Cygnus telling a state trooper he's okay.

This is Cygnus dialing his insurance company, which transfers him to roadside assistance.

This is Cygnus calling work, saying it doesn't look like he'll be coming to work today.

This is Cygnus waiting for the tow truck.

This is Cygnus waiting for the tow truck.

This is Cygnus waiting for the tow truck.

This is Cygnus getting silly automated calls from the insurance company.

This is Cygnus waiting for the tow truck.

This is Cygnus seeing the tow truck arrive. The driver has had 5 hours of sleep since Friday morning.

This is Cygnus climbing in the tow truck, which takes him and the Cygmobile to Sears.

This is Cygnus getting picked up by his loving DW at Sears and taken home.

This is Cygnus catching up on sleep.

This is Cygnus later that morning walking the two miles from Casa del Cyg to Sears to pick the Cygmobile up. The battery had died.

This is Cygnus hearing the service guy tell him that they can't turn off the rear windshield wiper or get the speedometer to work.

This is Cygnus pushing the switch that turns off the wiper.

This is Cygnus pounding on the dashboard to jar the speedometer loose, as he's done before. Nothing happens.

This is Cygnus, once home, taking apart the dashboard to fix the speedometer.

This is Cygnus realizing that won't help any.

This is Cygnus working an unbent paper clip through the hole where the trip odometer is to nudge the speedometer. It's not stuck. It falls back to 150 mph.

This is Cygnus deciding to put the dashboard back together and let a dealer take a look at it come Tuesday, when DW can drop him off.

This is Cygnus praying it's just a speedometer cable and not a flaw in the computer module, which will be MUCH more expensive to fix. Until then, he has to simply drive slower than everyone else.

UPDATE: Total damage was about $225 to replace the battery and fix the speedometer. I feared the latter would be a $500-600 job.


dragonflies said...

Aw, smooch. Sorry hon. Well, at least the car still drives, right?!

Puffy said...

wow, simply wow.

Well written, by the way.

SeasonedRefinement said...

My first reaction was, "Oh the lengths people will go to to get the day off of work...."

LOL, the only thing that would improve on that story would be little illustrations next to each, "This is Cygnus..." quip.

I wonder, did Cygnus ever blow his top and start yelling at the car? (don't remember reading about his emotional response to all of that cr@p...)

Seriously, you have my sympathy. I used to think those experiences only happened to my hubby and I. Thanks for the reminder that we are all only one car ride away from the shoulder. (Why do I still grin every time I see a new Mercedes pulled over on the shoulder, hazards flashing???)

Cygnus said...

Other than just a few colorful metaphors when I initially realized the car wouldn't start and folks were stacked behind me, I was actually pretty calm about the whole thing.

LOL about "the lengths people will go to" remark. I got a day off indeed . . . without pay.